This post is a throw back to nearly 2 years ago. I wrote it then but of course I got interrupted and I never published it. Still, it is part of our history and this was my truth.
It has been a rough few weeks for all of us, hasn’t it? I was texting a friend this morning and I told her I feel unsettled. When I am feel unsettled I write. These are my thoughts; in no particular order.
I am feeling tremendously grateful for our school district and communications team for the blood sweat and tears they have put in to educating and connecting our children. In 5 days I personally witnessed a 2nd grade teacher hold a daily conference call with 7 students that started out as monkeys on a sugar high and ended as orderly as any adult conference call I have ever been on. As adults we have been known to text our friends on calls without repercussion. As children they are called out for not having heads up and facing forward in learning position. Distance learning plans are challenging for the kids and engaging their brains in ways we wouldn’t do as parents. And when learning objectives are given in the morning with no time frame they are teaching children results management and the power of time management. These kids are our future.
I am grateful for the parents who have navigated through new apps and ways that our kiddos can safely communicate with each other. For kids school and activities are everything - their entire social world. So no school and no playdates is like a big scary wall thrown up that is isolating. Giving kids the tools and freedom to talk and giggle with their friends is the only kind thing we can do.
We are grieving the sudden loss of our normal. It’s emotional. It is DISRUPTION. We have all the time we always begged for but we aren’t allowed to use it the same way. I can think of at least 10 examples. We aren’t able to go where we want to go, or vacation where we might if we otherwise had 3 weeks off, or visit family who we never see enough of. We certainly can’t visit our elderly parents or grandparents now that we have the time. I would love to volunteer. I would love to go to tons of movies and binge on popcorn. I would love to take T to a new museum and explore OUR city, but we cannot. And honestly, the disruption is weighing so heavily I can’t even tell you I am exercising more, or cooking more than I was before. How cannot I not prepare a meal when I have literally been home for 3 weeks and the cupboards are stocked? We are eating sloppy joes and tater tots tonight. I’m not proud.
And what about at home? We have projects. Of course we do. I want hooks in our hall closet, the garage needs storage, the recycling drawer in the kitchen island hasn’t worked for 2 years. All of these are little but have been overlooked because of the pace and schedule of our business. But now that things have slowed way down and we have committed to the Stay at Home Order we still aren’t doing them. There is no sitting back and relaxing. We are wrapped up in finishing, in organizing, in working ahead, in planning. We are in a non stop cycle of communication about what if this and what if that. Three weeks ago we were talking with friends about wondering if March vacations should be cancelled. Two weeks ago we put together a plan for what would happen if we had to stop selling, stop installing, or just stay at home. Last week we felt like we had a good 2 week plan. Today I feel like that was all short sighted. We need a 6 month plan. We need to determine how to sustain our business in a new disrupted atmosphere. We need to do so without hibernating or pulling back crucial marketing dollars. But we also need to do so by marketing correctly and with the right message.
We are small business owners. We are feeling waves of change. We can install. We are prepared to provide virtual appointments. We have hundreds of past relationships we can re-engage with on their projects but how do we do that and remain sensitive. We know each time we pick up the phone we are talking to someone who may not have a job, who may be a first responder or medical worker, or who may be fighting the disease themselves. New windows during this time can seem so trivial. Are our needs to keep the business moving forward more important than their needs? Is our current advertising suddenly way off key? How fast can we change it to something better and when exactly will I have enough time alone to think about it and come up with a plan?
Can we talk about distance learning some more? The challenge from working from home while having a child completing school work from home is monumental. You may or may not know this.. but our office was at home for our first few years including when Tessie was born. I didn’t have maternity leave. I worked less, but I worked. And as she got older I constantly changed my schedule to accomodate hers. I had folders on my desk with times on them. I had a 5 minute folder, 15 minute folder and a 30 minute folder. I also had my days of the week folders. I knew that every day I had work that HAD to be done. And I knew that if tossed a fresh packet of post it notes to my 9 month old I could buy 15 minutes of work time. It was stressful and imperfect but I had a system. That was 7 years ago and I am rusty. The interruptions are louder and more demanding. They often require me to refocus my brain into her school work and before I know it I’m explainging comparing fractions and common denominators. It’s HARD. I don’t have another parent at home with me and I want both of us to get our work done. I am constantly torn between my job and spending time with her. I am never feeling like the right decisions are being made. Even with that my productive hours are reduced.